i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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