So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
