Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
