Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
high people should be assigned attendants
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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