My first STD was from a foam party
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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