Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
