You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
