I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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