im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
