Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
