He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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