Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my poor anus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
