i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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