you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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