they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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