After last night, I could never be a politician.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
