Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
