My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
