I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
