I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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