OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
