no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
