If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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