Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this hospital has no fireball
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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