# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
