So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
