New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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