So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
