Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
