So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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