it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
