how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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