end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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