That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
