i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
