She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
