Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
