? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
