wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
