Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
