it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
