Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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