Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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