no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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