frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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