I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
