I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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