nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
