I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
