ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
