Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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