So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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