I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
