a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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